Are you single because you’ve built a comfort zone as luxurious as a 6-star hotel and you never want to leave? Are you so safe in your comfort zone that life has become monotonous and predictable?
When we experience deep hurt, we need to take the time to feel the pain, accept the loss and then heal.
Once the healing takes place, you move on with life with renewed vigour and resilience. However, many people get stuck in feeling the pain and create a comfort zone to protect them from ever being hurt again.
While being in a comfort zone feels safe and requires minimal effort, it also keeps you playing small. No one has ever reached their potential while lounging in their comfort zone.
If your life has become safe but boring, it could be time to bust out of your comfort zone. If this is you, then just reading this line creates anxiety.
There are a vast number of people who are in a relationship slump, while they may be thriving at work.
People who are in hiding use the excuse of being busy like a badge of honour. Or is it actually another way of protecting yourself? Others use their kids to shield them from the daggers of the dating world.
“I am a single parent. My kids come first.” While your kids should come first, they should not be your only focus in life. The word “and” is the key to get out of this rut. “I take care of my kids AND make time for myself.” “I excel at my job AND my personal life.”
So, ask yourself the tough questions. Be honest with yourself, after all, no one else believes the excuses. Do you honestly work 16-hour days? Wouldn’t your kids want to see you happy? Are there really no good people out there?
Are all men pigs? Are all women nags? Do all people cheat? When you ask yourself the tough questions, you can differentiate between the truth and the excuses.
Being in a comfort zone does not only apply to relationships. Did you start the year overweight and the scale is going in the wrong direction as we approach the end of the year? Have you been talking about changing jobs or starting your own business and another year has passed without you taking action? What are you waiting for?
The first step to any change is to understand that we are here to grow and that does not happen in front of the TV screen.
We can grow the easy way, by consciously choosing to stretch ourselves, to act even if it feels uncomfortable OR life will force us to grow by throwing us challenges. So, make a decision to change, to learn, to grow by choice. You will feel more alive as you begin to reach for your potential and offer your best self in service to the world.
Reinvent yourself! If you’ve come out of a bad relationship, who are you without your partner? What are your beliefs, morals, interests or standards?
What makes you genuinely happy? If you’re a single parent, ask yourself who you are without your kids. Does your identity disappear? Who are you without your job title or your bank balance? Dig deep to find these answers and make the decision to allow this person to shine.
Robin Sharma says, “No one will believe in you until you believe in you.” Those that find love a second time around are not fearless; they chose to act despite their fear of getting hurt. Use the hurt to become clearer about who you are, what you have to offer the world and what you want to create for yourself.
When you start to get clear about the life you want to create, you begin to imagine what it would look like and feel like.
This then creates new neural pathways in your brain which then helps you to think and act in new ways, thereby creating a new outcome. Change requires more mind power than will power.
Your best life is waiting for you just beyond your comfort zone. Are you ready to take a leap? Make the image of the life you desire bigger, stronger and more exhilarating than your comfort zone and taking action will become easier.
I challenge you this week to take an honest look at those areas of your life where you are playing it safe and take at least one action step that allows you to shine. Your best life is waiting for you.
Kas Naidoo is a relationship coach and matchmaker. She can be contacted via [email protected]